why freebirth?

It started out as a half-joke, after our second child was born. When 5 years passed thinking we "knew" we were done having kids, I didn't imagine what beauty lay before me as I considered how unprepared I felt to have another child...pregnant again in 2017, I asked Drew if he still felt like we might freebirth. Read Laurel's birth story to see how that went. 

My faith had changed me but nowhere near what it would do throughout my pregnancy with her. Knowing that I have everything I need, and the Author alone, worthy to be our Care Provider is willing to counsel and guide. There is no human in the world that can teach me from within my body, who knows the beginning of this child's life and what was required to knit them as a complete, whole being. Faith creates confidence. The idol of control creates fear.

Both the Greek word eirene and the Hebrew word shalom have the meaning of oneness. Integral well-being. Whole. Complete. This is the essence of "peace", not disintegrated into parts. A being can only experience actual wholeness, and contain as a whole vessel, His holiness, if the mind, the body and the spirit are all one under the Authority of God. Can we be really whole if we submit a part of our beings to other "authorities" because of our doubt, or because of their education? 

Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control. 1 Timothy 2:15

As a ruminant of The Word, I have pondered at the power of this little sentence. She will be delivered through--does this mean the Lord will bring her from pregnancy through delivery, or does it mean she will be delivered because of, through what bearing children will do within her? There is so much gravity, holiness and discipline that can be held in all of it, pregnancy (the unseen, the quiet confidence that all is well, the expectant waiting for deliverance) and birth (the work, the unknown duration, the asking and listening for Help, the confidence that He alone delivers, that I have all that I need, lacking nothing as my body--and this child-- is His investment...).

These are my personal convictions that have led me to freebirth. These are the words that have challenged my own fears, ideas, pride. This is how faith can prove us, transform us, and we become whole different beings by allowing "even" the physical body to be His own, not ours.

I understand that not everyone is of a mind to labor and birth without any other support. I am personally introverted, and I carry that solitary nature into my labors...I don't desire someone to touch me, massage me, talk to me, convince me I'm alright...I just want to be able to do the work without interruption. Drew has learned how to support me in this way, and I appreciate his presence. Becoming more one with my husband through each experience, I found that I wanted him near me, and didn't mind his hands on me with number 5, in a way that I was not ready for with number four! Being delivered through childbearing, one scar at a time I suppose.