of faith and freebirth

 When The Word planted the seed of our third child, I didn't feel ready. As selfish as I was, Abba had more for us. He spoke to me that if I have personally crafted this person with a purpose, without your input or knowledge, your "assistance" will not be necessary in protecting or delivering them.

As my pregnancy progressed, my investments were made, not financially with a professional midwife as before, or even supplementation toward a "healthy pregnancy". Consuming what He called Good and rejecting what was not of Good Nature. Attention to The Word and what matched His character. He began to train me to hear what was true, right and trustworthy, and not render attention to the words of the educated and licensed, which often bring fear and anxiety. He showed me how to pursue wisdom and truth apart from the grasping of the world for seeing and knowing. Every seed of faith that was planted, established and reinforced a full arsenal of not backing down when Satan wanted me to entertain thoughts that were based on falsehoods and unbelieving paradigms for "safety", and eradicated the fear of lack that comes as their fruit.

To know that His purpose is fuller, greater and more trustworthy than my own, I realized that even if...I did not need to be afraid of loss. Because He extended His power to create a being that I was unprepared for, I knew He wanted this person and would be the Protector and Provider simply because of that desire to create and sustain her. 

A freebirth friend and I were discussing how, even if the pregnancy ended in loss, we would still choose to protect that space from the disorder of attempting to grasp for control through medical measures. If The Word desires for the child to stay, they will stay. No amount of "knowledge" assists this reality. If The Word has spoken for the end of that life already, then none of my anxious wrangling for control will stop Him. We may delay this end, but did we improve their life by rejecting what was being offered by The Word? We have a falsehood in the Western Medical system, that complications expected and created by a paradigm based on human control, are "solved" or "rescued from" using the same system. This excludes the Creator of Life and Deliverer of the same entirely from our perception. Do we even realize how faithless it is, to align ourselves with a mindset that expects Him to fail so we must catch, and when the system fails, it is blamed on the body, and further intervention is required, to "assist" the failure inevitable?

This is the unbelieving world. If our belief and trust aligns with this, then we need to do a faith check.

Test yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Examine yourselves! Or don’t you know yourselves—that Messiah Yeshua is in you? Unless of course you failed the test. 2 Corinthians 13:5 TLV

The Western Christian religion has partnered with the Western Medical religion all along. These have always worked together, because the Roman version excludes the absolute authority and power of Yeshua. This is well-described in 2 Timothy 3. Christian Tradition carries many forms, but none of them have anything to do with changing paradigms to True Power (dunamis) and Authority.

But understand this, that in the last days hard times will come— for people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, hardhearted, unforgiving, backbiting, without self-control, brutal, hating what is good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,holding to an outward form of godliness but denying its power. Avoid these people! 2 Timothy 3:1-5

The difference is in doing faith or doing religion.

If we are trusting human hands, tools and images more than the Hand that created the being, we are living by sight (idolatry), not faith.

If "knowledge is power", then why does fear grow in proportion to our knowledge, and why doesn't more intervention equal more peace, but instead, trauma? Don't we see a pattern? What The Word speaks is complete and actual shalom, everything else is a mess.

In our modern maternity mindset, we are taking more upon our shoulders than we are able to bear, and it is causing us great physical and mental distress.  That Christian mothers who would like to get pregnant as quickly as possible are taking pharmaceuticals in an effort to conceive on their timetable, aren't we seeing how it begins the pattern of carrying the load ourselves? How is it different from taking offerings to fertility goddesses? What if we yield first--giving thanks to the Author of Life for His perfect timing, letting this be the foremost goal: shalom within His Word. Then, ask Him, out loud. Together. As you become one. Why not? Can we trust Him to give Good Things to those who ask?

Think about Miryam, the mother of Yeshua. She was given a pregnancy fully unpremeditated, unmarried, unsupplemented, unsupervised. She then traveled at the end of her pregnancy, and turned away from any proper living space while in labor. Having mucked a few livestock stalls, I'm aware that it would not be my first choice for a birthing space. I've birthed in a few different places: my bed, bedroom floor, bathroom floor, living room floor, bathtub. Never have I birthed in our cowshed. Was it ignorance, that she wasn't afraid of becoming infected, because no one had come up with "germ theory" at that time? (I don’t think so, since the Talmud describes that they should not eat with unwashed hands, and cleanness was very much a part of Torah. These were not simpletons.) Or was it her faith?

Blessed is she who trusted that there would be a fulfillment of those things spoken to her by Adonai.” Luke 1:45

Is it our fear and consequent response of seeking and trusting omens and images, that is going to protect and deliver us in the end, or is it the fulfillment of The Word?

If the righteous will live by their faith, and it is by faith that we overcome the world, where is the place for this trust in incompetent and incomplete systems? Why are those who choose to birth without this system seen as reckless and stupid? If cursed is the one who trusts in man, who makes mere flesh his confidence...how is it safer for mother and child in any way?

When Elisheba, John's mother became pregnant, this elderly woman was not seeing a high risk advanced maternal age practitioner. She remained in seclusion, savoring the first five months apart from whispers and public attention. What gave her confidence in the deliverance of her child?

Trusting the purpose and power of the One who sowed the seed and created the being. 

If I firmly believe The Authority of Life whom is over us. I don't have to be afraid of loss, as dark as it may feel. If He created a person, there is a reason for their life, no matter how long. I came to know full well that if He planted Laurel (her identity unknown at the time) within me, He had a good reason for making her exist and my lack of human knowledge of inner details would not diminish her safety, and knowing more would not increase it. “I know in Whom I have believed, and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him against that day” She was formed and delivered by the same Hand. His love and desire for her would be her protection, not my own.

I had a miscarriage after coming to this understanding, and the sorrow was greatly comforted in this trust. I fell on my belly during my last pregnancy, both hands full, heading out to the cowshed to milk, I tripped on a temporary poly wire fence and landed smack on my belly. I prayed, I sobbed, and I trusted. But The Word had a purpose for my Oren, and He protected him. "Checking on things" would not change anything but the hands in which the responsibility landed, and in so doing, a scan may have caused more damage than any peace it could have offered.

Oh, Yah. Let me be found faithful, clinging to the trustworthy Word, encouraging by sound words, convicting those who oppose it. (Titus 1:9)

“But the righteous shall live by belief, but if anyone draws back, my being has no pleasure in him.
But we are not of those who draw back to destruction, but of belief to the preservation of life." Hebrews 10:38-39